


Two Worlds

by astrumysticus



Series: The Runway [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, America's Next Top Model - Freeform, Asia's Next Top Model inspired, M/M, Secret Relationship, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-13 05:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11177973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrumysticus/pseuds/astrumysticus
Summary: Everytime Sugawara is with Ushijima, the only thing he can think of was the little moment they had, the private meetings, the quick glances--the secret relationship. It was their secret, but everything changed with just one click of a camera. Media flocking, shuttering camera lights, hate comments, and love scandal. Will Sugawara fight his love for Ushijima even though they were worlds apart?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i still lowkey can't move on when Suga called Ushi 'Mr. Perfect' so this story happened. Btw, UshiSuga is one of my main :) <3 
> 
> LET'S BE FRIENDS!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

**Second story of the series:**

**"The Runway"**

_SUGAWARA KOUSHI x USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI_

 

* * *

 

 

If there's a song that can describe Sugawara and Ushijima's love story then it was Little Mix's Secret Love song. The song itself describes their relationship; the lyrics define their happenings, the melody gave them a tingling sensation. It was perfect, the lovers were not.

 

The two of them, Sugawara Koushi and Ushijima Wakatoshi, met when they were both high school students. Both top students, trusted by teachers, and famous in the campus. Like what happened at some shojo-manga; they met. Like a scene at a movie: they clicked. Like a paragraph from a book: they fell. Everything seems to be at place, everything seems calm--and perfect--oh how Sugawara wished it was.

 

No matter how true his love for Ushijima is, how sincere and pure it is--they are useless. Everything is useless. He can never have the man for his own. Ushijima Wakatoshi was way out of his league.

 

Having a secret relationship with the heir of group of companies was never easy.

 

“Sugawara-san.” The young Ushijima called the young Sugawara. Currently writing down notes for the next subject, Sugawara jolted. “Y-Y-Yes U-Ushijima-san?” He shrieked.

 

They were both classmates at first to third years, both Student Council officers and have the same likings. It was easy for them to fall in love, but inevitable to stay in love.  
It was a question for the both of them on how they knew each other. First year high school, they met like that. Ushijima called him all of a sudden, Sugawara freaked out. It was not the type of first meeting you never expected, it was natural and came pretty suddenly. But one thing for sure is, it was lovely.

 

“Do you have an extra pen?” Ushijima asked.  
Sugawara nodded panicky. “Y-Yes of course!”

 

Little did the young Sugawara know that Ushijima used that an excuse to have a normal conversation to him, and to have an excuse for the next conversation. Smooth and wise, Ushijima.

 

“I’ll give it back to you later…” Ushijima said, slowly sitting at Sugawara’s desk. The latter did not mind; his heart fluttered by the sight of Ushijima’s broad body in front of him, it makes him feel small and suddenly wants to hugged the brunette, but he was still sane. “No need, Ushijima-san…” Sugawara responded.

 

Ushijima’s olive orbs pierced through Sugawara’s hazel angelic eyes he wants to see more of it, he wants to see the soul of this angel. Ushijima felt calm and serene at the sight of the latter, like everything is at peace, like nothing even mattered anymore. Meanwhile Sugawara was feeling hype all of a sudden; the gushy feelings insides, the rushing veins, the fast beating heart—it all makes him feel alive. Ushijima Wakatoshi made him like this.

 

“Well, how ‘bout you give me back my heart?” Ushijima said suddenly. Sugawara creased his eyebrows in curiosity. “Excuse me, what?” He asked yet he had clue.

  
Ushijima winked. “Like a thief in a night, you stole my heart…”

  
Sugawara can’t help but to chuckle, the emotions he felt right now was overwhelming. It’s making him smile widely. “Your honour, I am guilty.”

 

The mutual understanding pretty came suddenly, but it was their pure hearts doing all the things. They could not fight with it—it was like the heart was ruling over the mind. But how can you stop the powering emotions you felt? No human in this world can ever stop something like that. Because once you love somebody, it will be there—stopping your feelings will take time, and that’s just how love works.

 

“Sugawara-san, can I?” Young Ushijima asked, holding a tray with his food for lunch. Sugawara looked up to him, and then roamed his eyes to the surrounding. The cafeteria was not full, there were so many available tables yet Ushijima’s…here…asking permission to sit beside him—to eat lunch with him.  
Nevertheless, he nodded. “Sure…” Sugawara said and tried to clean his portion of table. Ushijima sat in front of him, not taking off his gaze to Sugawara. He slowly put his plates, drinks, and his’ other food to eat at the top of the table, while Sugawara tried to eat but failing big time because of nervousness. Heck, he never thought Ushijima Wakatoshi will eat lunch with him. Dreams come true, indeed.

 

“Okay so about the pen…” Ushijima opened the topic.  
Sugawara can’t help but to choke. “W-What?” He coughs, slightly tapping his chest. Ushijima panicked and handed Sugawara a glass of water which the latter immediately accepted.  
“A-Are you fine?” Ushijima asked when Sugawara lie low.  
The latter nodded and flashed a smile which made Ushijima’s heart thump—thumping, thumping, thumping. It was Sugawara’s angelic smile—and will forever be Ushijima’s favourite. It’s almost like—no smiles in this world can ever surpass Sugawara’s smile—it was something—lovely, exquisite—addicting.  
“I’m fine, Ushijima-san. Thank you.” Sugawara said, feeling a little fine. “And about the pen, uh, you can…keep it…” He added.

 

Ushijima stared at Sugawara, slowly resting his elbow above the table, palm placed at the side of his cheek. By instincts, Sugawara spanked Ushijima’s arm, which the latter was shocked of.

  
“Wha-What?” Ushijima muttered.

  
Sugawara raised his one eyebrow. “Don’t slouch; it’s rude, especially if you’re in front of the food.” Ushijima let out an amused smile. “Okay miss—“

  
“—What?” Sugawara felt like his ears flapped because of what Ushijima said.

  
“—Ter. Mister.” Ushijima continued, letting out a cheeky smile.

 

They both chuckled, and continued eating their lunch. Sugawara couldn’t focus much on his food because he can feel Ushijima’s stare from his peripheral vision. Something inside him was breaking, running, fluttering—it’s making Sugawara blush deep red—embarrassing.

 

“Oh shit…” Sugawara heard Ushijima’s low swearing. He glanced at the latter, and saw Ushijima slightly panicking, he ducked his head. Sugawara, curious of what was happening, roamed his eyes, especially at his back. There, he saw a bunch of girls roving around the cafeteria. “What’s the problem?” He asked.

  
“I-I need to hide.” Ushijima said. “Uh where… ah!”

 

Sugawara can’t help but to turn his face into horror when Ushijima went below their table. He gasped in disbelief—he had no idea Ushijima can be this stupid! Sugawara lightly kicked Ushijima below the table. Their position was embarrassing! If anyone would saw them, it would be a total chaos! “Ushijima…” He stresses his tone, wanting Ushijima to realize his idiocy.

 

“Just…wait…” Ushijima responded.

  
Sugawara bit his lip out of frustration. “They left, the girls already left.”

Ushijima immediately went out, adjusting his slightly worn out polo and messy hair. After that, he looked at Sugawara innocently like nothing happened. The latter can’t help but to scoff.

 

“So where were we?” Ushijima asked.  
Sugawara glanced at him, looking and feeling stupid. “What?”. He asked. What is he talking about? He had no idea.  
“Are you free this weekend? Let’s go out…” Ushijima said.  
Sugawara chuckled, trying to hide his cheeky smile. “You’re unbelievable…”

 

 

It was on their second year when they started going out. Their relationship was sailing smoothly, everything seemed perfect. But dear, it was not. Having people looking at you with those judgmental eyes, painful words coming from their mouths, and insulting laugh everyone can be heard. It was not easy.

 

“I think Sugawara is gay for Ushijima…”  
“Had you noticed that they seemed so close?”  
“Shut it, guys! Ushijima will never be like that!”

 

People were curious with their relationship; the two of them were so close that people are having a second look on them. It was hard for the both of them. No matter how secret their relationship can be—someone, somebody in this world will notice.

 

Ushijima’s best friend noticed, Tendou Satori, but he supported them. But having one out of thousands of people against—it’s not enough. Because even the moments the two of them had, it was not enough. Sugawara wants to be selfish and greedy—but he knows he can’t.

 

He can but he won’t.

 

Secret dates, it was so difficult. Ushijima Wakatoshi was almost known by everyone. The super-ace of the prestigious Shiratorizawa, the heir of the famous and trusted multicompany, and insert the thousands trophies and awards Ushijima had. And hey, how about Sugawara Koushi? Oh do you know who he is? Maybe Ushijima’s other best friend, worse, is his personal assistant.

 

It was a question for Sugawara how he survived his’ relationship with Ushijima. From 2nd year high school up to 4th year college. How did Sugawara Koushi survive? How did Ushijima Wakatoshi maintain the relationship? Answer: Love.

 

All that a successful and happy relationship needs is love. When you love someone, no obstacles, can stop you. No one, not even a single thing, can prevent you. If you truly love someone then nothing is difficult. It was hard to explain, but it’s just that.

 

Sugawara was sure—that what he feel for Ushijima was true love. It’s real.

  
And even if their relationship’s a secret, the dates were hidden; the evidences of their love were private. Nothing can stop their love.

  
And that’s how Sugawara Koushi and Ushijima Wakatoshi tasted their bittersweet love story.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Koushi…” Ushijima whispered beneath Sugawara’s neck. The latter laughed because of the tingling sensation Ushijima’s warm breathing was. “Toshi stop!”

 

This is how they spend their dates as they grow older. Ushijima visiting Sugawara’s apartment; cuddling, watching movies together, anything that inside dates do. Sugawara was okay with it, he was contended. This is better than having nothing, right?

 

But Ushijima knew Sugawara wants more. But their relationship was a secret after all, it’s not that easy.

 

 

“Let’s go on a date?” Ushijima whispered.  
Sugawara laughed. “Oh Toshi, we’re having a date right now…”  
“No, I mean… let’s go outside…” Ushijima said.  
Sugawara turned around, facing Ushijima; he caress its soft cheeks and traced Ushijima’s face with his soft delicate fingers. “You don’t need to, Toshi. I understand…”  
“No, I want it this time. Let’s go out…”

 

Sugawara slowly got up from his bed, slightly removing Ushijima’s arms snaked from his waist, but still could not successfully leave because of the latter’s strong legs entangling with his’. It was a tight grip, like Ushijima will never let go of him no matter what.

 

He laughed and smacked Ushijima’s legs. “Let go, idiot!”  
“You love this idiot, and, no I won’t…” The latter answered as he tugged the hem of Sugawara’s shirt, pulling him closer to him.  
Sugawara shook his head, fighting the man’s force. “Toshi I need to go to school!” But still let the man pull him. Ushijima hugged Sugawara tightly as he kissed his’ silver locks.

 

Life is hard, life were never easy. Sugawara and Ushijima knew, but how can they stop if even their hearts and soul doesn’t want to? A thousand times, thousand times Sugawara thought of giving up, letting go, and forgetting all of these. But he can’t—he won’t. Ushijima Wakatoshi is his’ life. Giving up, letting go, forgetting him means Sugawara Koushi’s death.

 

A loud familiar ringtone engulfed the room. It was Ushijima’s phone ringing. The man took it and his face fell instantly at the sight of the screen. “It’s Dad…”  
“Go, answer it…” Sugawara said.  
Ushijima glanced at him. “Are you…sure?”  
“Of course…” It’s like I can do anything about it.

 

The man slowly went up, leaving Sugawara lying at bed. Ushijima marched his way to Sugawara’s mini-sofa as he continued talking to his father. The latter just stared at his boyfriend, admiring his’ striking features, and erotic physique. Sugawara don’t know if he can call himself lucky. Yes, Ushijima Wakatoshi is his’, but… it’s difficult.

 

The call ended, Ushijima immediately went to him. He kissed Sugawara’s forehead as he bid goodbye. “Father needs me right now…something…happened…” He said.  
Sugawara nodded, and initiated the kiss. “See you later, be careful okay?”  
“I’ll be back…” Ushijima answered, they exchanged ‘i-love-you’s’ and left.

 

Neither of them knew that it was their last time.

 

* * *

 

 

A loud knock was heard, Sugawara jolted from his seat. He left his paper works and doze to his apartment door. The knock was continuous, and loud, like the human behind the door was panicking. Sugawara hurried and opened the door; it was his’ best friend Enoshita.

 

“W-What?—“Before he could even finish his sentence Enoshita cut him off.  
“Have you checked your accounts?!” Enoshita screamed. “Did you watched the news, or anything?” He added.  
Sugawara creased his eyebrows. “Hey what happened—“  
“Oh my god Suga! I-I—“ Enoshita inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I-I don’t know how—where to start but… please stay strong okay?”

 

Sugawara suddenly felt nervous, he had a clue of what was happening but he wished he was wrong. Enoshita doze to Sugawara’s living room and switched the television on as Sugawara slowly closed the door. His’ body are starting to feel numb, he suddenly felt ill. He felt crying, he doesn’t want this.

 

“News flash: Ushijima Wakatoshi is gay?!” Sugawara heard the reporter said at the television. He stopped his tracks, completely frozen at his current position, hands still placed at the door.  
He could hear his best friend’s worried voice, the news reporting, and other people’s remark about the news. But still, he stayed frozen. “Suga!” Enoshita called. “Ushijima’s here!”

 

Sugawara glanced at the television. Ushijima was really there, looking lavishly handsome on his apparel; the black and white tuxedo looked good on him—even the word ‘good’ looks like an insult to the man, like the word good is not enough. Sugawara slowly walked near his sofa, eyes stuck at Ushijima.

 

“This is all a misunderstanding. I am not a faggot.” Was all Ushijima said, and his’ body guards helped him evacuate the area. The media was still flocking to him despite the harsh treatment of securities.  
Suddenly, his parents came. The attention of media instantly went to them, leaving Ushijima behind. The video recording was shaky, there were too many people fighting, and wanting to get a response, a scope from Ushijima’s.

 

“Madame, is it true that your son is gay?” The reporter still asked despite of the pushing and pulling. Everything was a mess.  
Ushijima’s mother stopped her tracks and glanced at the reporter. “My son is not a faggot.”  
“Then how can you prove it, Madame? The leaked pictures seemed true and real...” The reporter added and received no response.

 

Enoshita turned off the television. Sugawara remained at his position, sat at his old sofa, hands clutched together at the top of his lap, breathing unsteady and eyes unfocused. He felt like he was floating, everything seemed surreal.

 

“Please tell me this is just a dream…” Sugawara muttered. “Please wake me up…”  
Enoshita hugged his best friend. “Oh, Suga…”  
“I-I need to see him…” Sugawara said and stood up.  
But Enoshita stopped him. “Suga! You can’t! You know you can’t! The news spread like a wildfire, and everyone knows now! Please…”  
“Enoshita…what…picture…” Sugawara can’t even talk properly. “Can I see…the picture?”

 

Sugawara heard his phone ringing all of a sudden, but his focus and attention were shaky; he couldn’t answer the call. Still, he tried finding his phone despite of his trembling body. He saw it placed at the top of his’ drawer, he immediately took it and saw Ushijima’s name flashed in the screen.

 

 **Toshi~ calling**  
_Slide to answer_

 

Sugawara stared at it for a few seconds, but still answered it. His hand was shaking as he slowly placed it at his right ear. He coughed lightly, trying to erase the lump of his throat but failed.

 

“H-Hello…” Sugawara greeted.  
But an unfamiliar voice responded instead of Ushijima’s.  
[Are you Sugawara Koushi?] It was a woman’s voice.  
Sugawara nodded even though the woman from the other line can’t see. “Yes, this is Sugawara Koushi…”  
[Let’s meet.]

 

 

* * *

 

 

The cold wind breeze escaping from the vehicle’s AC made Sugawara sniffed. He was currently inside a car—no—a limo—a freaking limousine of Ushijima’s family. The interior was huge; it had sofa and a centre table, with other appliances and beautifications a normal neitizen like Sugawara couldn’t afford.

 

In front of him was Ushijima Wakatoshi’s mom, wearing a beige turtleneck fitting dress. She looked young, and her eye colour’s the same as his’ Toshi. The woman handed Sugawara a glass filled with expensive wine, he accepted it and took a sip.

 

“Okay so I’ll not beat around the bush anymore. I’ll go straight ahead the main point here, Sugawara-san.” Ushijima’s mom said.  
He sat properly, feeling nervous. “Yes, Madame.”  
“End your relationship with my son.” She said like it was an easy task. “Break up with him, okay?”

 

* * *

 

 

Sugawara held his phone tightly. He was now at their favourite hidden meet up place, a little far away from Tokyo, located at Ushijima’s lot. They made a mini-house made of wood. This was their escape.

 

A few minutes later he heard the familiar engine of Ushijima’s vehicle. He stayed sitting at the sofa, waiting for Ushijima to come inside. His heartbeat was running like a mad man, beating fast and loud, wanting to leave from his chest—Sugawara could not even breathe properly.

 

He couldn’t believe it. He doesn’t want this.

 

“Koushi…” He heard Ushijima deep but sweet voice. He looked up to it and smiled. “Toshi…” He greeted back.

 

He will surely miss this man. Everything, every part, every corner, every inch, every flaws—everything. Even from the way Ushijima wrinkled his nose, eyes twitched, corner of his’ lips went up—everything. He will miss his’ pair of deep olive eyes that screamed so much emotions, his soft and slightly messy locks that contrasts to his personality, his astounding nose he always loved to pinch, his jaw that he loved to bite, his perfect lips that never want to break off from him. He’ll miss his hands that perfectly fit to his’, and his broad yet fluffy body that he loves to hug. Everything—everything.

 

Why?

Sugawara can’t help but ask.

What they only did was to love. Was it a crime?

 

“Are you fine?” Ushijima asked and sat next to him, immediately wrapped Sugawara inside of him. The latter chuckled. “Of course I am…”

 

Just a little more time… give Sugawara more time to be with him. Just a little bit… he’s not yet ready. And when the time comes… he will let go of him—will not. They were used to it, right? The secret relationship, hidden dates, private moments. They can pretend that they broke up, right? But they’ll still continue their love—right?

 

 

They’ve done this before, what could go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

 

“Sugawara-san! Boss’ needs the monthly report now!” A loud voice enveloped the room; it was Narita, the secretary of the Big Boss. Sugawara jolted from his seat and picked the thin folder from his table panicky. “C-Coming!” He said.

 

Narita marched his way to Sugawara’s small cubicle, the latter shook a bit of the man’s presence. He silently prayed that Narita did not notice his uneasiness, he was not yet ready—he’s not sure if he did well on making the monthly report. Heck, he might get fired because of it.

 

“Oi, let’s go…” Narita said.

Sugawara glanced at him, shocked. “What?”

“What’d you mean by what?” Narita asked, slightly pissed.

Sugawara held the folder tightly but afterwards handed it to Narita.  “H-Here…”

“Give it to Boss yourself, he also wants to see you.” Narita said and held Sugawara’s arm. “Let’s go…” He added.

 

Sugawara checked the insides of his report every second, reading every word of it—making sure everything was slightly—perfect. He was just new to this company, and he was immediately assigned to a higher position and now making reports and sometimes minutes of the meetings. It was making him exhausted but he needs a job for his living.

 

It has been approximately three years. Since then, Sugawara was living hell in this made-believe heavenly world.  He couldn’t believe that he’s still alive up until now when he felt lifeless. The memories still haunts him, he still remembered every little thing from the past and it’s making him crazy. But deep inside him—he loved how he can still remember everything—he doesn’t want to forget—he’ll cherish the bittersweet memories he had.

 

I’m lifeless without you; was the only thing Sugawara held to continue his life. He will never forget all the promises his love made, he’ll never let go of the memories he still recall. Because even after all these years, Sugawara was still truly madly deeply in love—(or what we called stupid)—with that certain man named Ushijima Wakatoshi.

 

It was not the man who made his life a living hell. It was Ushijima’s parent, friends, and all the people involved in the circle of life of the man. If not because of Ushijima Wakatoshi’s presence, then maybe Sugawara was gone in the world that time.

 

“You can come in now…” Narita said as soon as they reached the floor of their boss. Sugawara widened his eyes. “W-What? I thought you’ll come with me?”

Narita sat at his chair, and pressed the intercom. “Boss, Sugawara-san is here.” He said and earned a reply; “Let him come.”

“See?” Narita said and drank his coffee. Sugawara gave up and nodded. “Okay…”

 

He knocked lightly at the expansive door of his’ boss office, he heard a loud ‘come in’ voice, and he slowly opened the ingress. Even though he saw this office many times already, he still can’t help but get amazed by the striking elegance the interior screamed, a touch of modern technology mixed with antique’s. Truly a magnificent beauty.

 

“H-Here’s the monthly report, boss…” He stuttered as he felt the intense aura of his ‘boss’. He couldn’t even pierce his eyes to the man. It was something different, clearly different to the stares he was used to. 

“Place it here…” The man replied. “And I already told you that you can call me by my first name, Koushi.”

Sugawara tried to flash a sincere smile. “You know I can’t do that, Sawamura-san.”

 

As much as Sugawara wanted to deny; his’ boss, Daichi Sawamura—uhm— _slightly_ like him—it was making him exhausted. Having Ushijima Wakatoshi to like—(love)—him was enough but now even Daichi Sawamura, newly successful business tycoon and one of the hottest bachelor in town to hit on him was too much. He’d not want another scandal. (Jfc, give this angel a rest.)

 

He couldn’t stop asking himself; what’s with him? He’s just normal man, surviving in this world, yet—you know? Just… _why._

 

“D-Do you need anything else, boss?” Sugawara asked, wanting to leave.

Daichi looked up on him; he suddenly snapped his fingers and ducked his head below his’ table, picking something. “Oh right!” Afterwards, he handed Sugawara a bouquet of flowers. “Here, for my lovely Koushi…”

 

Sugawara felt iced at his position, he can’t even look properly at the superb flowers handed in front of him. Boy, this was too much. He coughed (not the offensive cough though) trying to swallow the lump of throat inside him. How do we deal in this situation?

 

“Oh… what a lovely flowers, Sawamura-san—but—you know I can’t—I won’t—I’ll never—accept anything from you…” He said, stuttering. He, himself, was surprised when the words suddenly slipped out from his mouth. But what’s done is done. He just hoped Daichi understands.

“I know, Koushi. Just accept these…think of these flowers as—a congratulatory gift from a friend—I guess?” Daichi said.

 

Sugawara smiled, but did not accept Daichi’s ‘gift’. Accepting things from Daichi just let the man have his hopes up. He could not give the man a chance because Sugawara knew he’s still not ready, his heart’s not fine—he was never fine in the first place—he can’t—no--he won’t love someone else except for that certain man with olive orbs that pierced right through his soul.

 

“So I guess, it’s still him, right?” Daichi asked, slowly hiding the rejected bouquet of flowers. Sugawara tried to smile. “I—don’t know…”

 

How could you forget someone that took your life? 

 

“I-I’ll go now…”

 

* * *

 

 

“Sorry for the inconvenience, ladies and gentlemen. The train suddenly malfunction and it’ll take time to fix the problem. An employee of ours will hand out an explanatory letters for each one of you. For now, please calm down and stay safe. We will inform you as soon as possible.”

 

Sugawara heaved a sigh as soon as he heard the announcement from the speakers inside the train. He leaned his back on the chair as he rested his one palm at the top of his lap while the other held his thin device, scrolling up and down; checking the latest news. It was quarter to 8 in the evening, on the way home and this happened. He badly wants to sleep, but he doesn’t want to take a nap inside the train because some might take advantage of him. Better safe than sorry.

 

He grumbled when his tummy made a weird sound, he just remembered he hasn’t eaten dinner yet.  He took over time at his work so that he can go home early tomorrow—but of course that was not the real reason—. He needs to focus his attention to something else; he needs to occupy his mind, heart, and soul to something different—something new. But no matter what Sugawara do—it’s just useless.

 

This day holds a special place in his heart. This should be their 8th?—9th?—10th anniversary today.  How would Sugawara forget this occasion— _supposed_ to be occasion.  There was nothing so celebrate today—he won’t able to celebrate anything—maybe in the future, Sugawara would definitely forget—or maybe not. Even when time passes by; Sugawara will never forget. He wants to forget but he also wants to remember. 

 

Ushijima Wakatoshi. Forever etched in his heart, glued on his brain, remain on his soul.

 

The notification sound from his phone popped. He slides to unlock his phone and saw a new post of his best friend Enoshita and his new boyfriend Tanaka. He double tapped the picture, and commented a; Stay Strong~

 

He sighed. Stay strong, huh?

 

An employee came and gave out letters for them, bowing and saying sorry from each one of them, having delay or problems on trains in Japan rarely happened, so giving out explanatory letters is a must. Sugawara accepted the letter. “It’s okay, thank you.” He said.

 

Sugawara hide the paper inside his bag, he took out his phone and checked out his instagram account; saw nonsense posts of some famewhore—but hey he was once called like that—maybe up until now even when it’s been years since.

 

He would never forget those days—it was his greatest fear—his nightmare. He never knew people were capable of doing _that_. But even though Ushijima Wakatoshi was his nightmare dressed like a daydream—he just couldn’t blame the man for what happened (even his parents, friends, and all the people in the circle of life of the man)—it was no one’s fault—not even God, Love, and Destiny had no responsibility with it.

 

Scrolling up and down, tapping heart button, and etcetera. Sugawara froze at his position when he realized what he has done. He wants to smack himself badly because of his’ idiocy. Thinking of him a while ago and now stalking his social media accounts? Way to go, Sugawara.

He immediately unlike the pictures he tapped a while ago (even though it was useless because it’s an international app and probably people already saw that he liked recent photos of Ushijima and then _poof_ another scandal). He stopped his tracks—it’s useless—everything was useless from the very start.

 

Sugawara sighed and continued his stupidity for Ushijima Wakatoshi. He can’t help but to flash a cheeky grin because of the gushy feeling he felt when he saw the man hasn’t changed the username he made. It gave him a tingling sensation, he suddenly felt longing but brush offed the thoughts afterwards. He clicked on the tag photo section of the man and saw a recent photo. He clicked on it, waited for a few seconds and the image loaded.

 

 **@semita** at Grand Hill’s

 **[** _insert image_ **]**

 **[** with **@goshihiki , @ohireon , @atagamaya , @shirabae,** and **@UshijimaWacowToshi ]**

_ Reunited! Wish you were here **@TenderSalami** ~! _

__

He stared at that certain man he truly missed. He looked for _something_ —something new—something different—something that has changed. But yes, something was really different even from just seeing in just an image. Sugawara can feel it, he can sense the vulnerability of Ushijima’s presence. It’s only been three years—from the strong aura of the man—to—the weak and vulnerable appearance. _Just what happened, Toshi?_

 

Wearing a simple maroon V-neck tee shirt, beige khaki shorts, and a sneaker trend these days—Ushijima looked tired; the dark circles below his eyes can be notice quickly, the man looked like he lost weight—Sugawara bit his lips, suddenly feeling worry of the man’s look. Maybe if he was there then Ushijima will surely look fine, lively and happy— _oh_.

 

He stared at the image for a long time—or to be specific—at Ushijima. Today was supposed to be their anniversary and here he was—“Sugawara you idiot…” He muttered when he realize his foolishness.

 

Right. It has been approximately three years and surely, Ushijima moved on. There are billion people in this world and Ushijima can find for another replacement of him—someone younger, richer, smarter, prettier _—_ someone superior than Sugawara Koushi— _a girl._ There just no way that Ushijima will stick to him—if this happened in medieval times then Ushijima was the King while Sugawara was a pauper—a peasant. They were thousand miles apart; Ushijima on top while Sugawara at the bottom—or maybe at the deepest depths—but describing their both stand in life like that was like an insult.

 

They were not thousand miles apart, they are not in a triangle where there’s top and bottom—they will never be—because Ushijima Wakatoshi and Sugawara Koushi were Worlds Apart. Or maybe universe—or maybe Sugawara was a particle, an atom—never noticed, never seen.

 

Sugawara’s world was definitely different from Ushijima’s world.

Ushijima was gold, Sugawara was…nothing—or maybe the soil where the gold mines hide—like skin and bone trained to get along.

 

“The problem had been fixed, ladies and gentlemen. Sit back and relax. We are three stops ahead!” Heard Sugawara.

He sighed and brushed off the train of thoughts; he turned off his phone and hid inside his pocket. Sugawara leaned his back, closing his eyes—he thought once again of Ushijima, and the little moments they had.

 

Oh, Suga.

 

* * *

 

 

[ f l a s h b a c k ]

 

“Oi Suga! What the heck are you doing?” Their PE teacher shouted at him. Sugawara shook when he heard the loud voice of the man he feared—well not really but still. He stood properly and hurried changing. “Sorry!”

 

It was their PE period, and their playing volleyball. Sugawara was shy to show up to everyone, and even though Hanamichi-sensei scolded him thousand times already—he just couldn’t bear everyone staring at his body—uh you know? Volleyball sports attire; short shorts— _damn._

 

Sugawara sighed and left their locker room; his classmates already left the vicinity and went to the volleyball gym. As he marched his way to the gymnasium; he can’t help but to feel embarrassed so he placed his hands at the top of his shorts. Other students were now staring at his milky legs—whispering how and why Sugawara Koushi has this white as snow and a girl’s legs. It’s not like he can do anything about it, everyone on his family have this kind of traits—Sugawara was sometimes mistaken as a girl and it’s frustrating—(well maybe not often, because he sometimes loves being mistaken as a girl for Ushijima of course).

 

He stood at the court with his classmates who were staring at him vulgarly. Sugawara’s cheeks rose up. He can’t help but to silently cursed the school for giving him the smallest size of sports attire—yes, the apparel fits perfectly but it’s just _too_ short, he can’t stop himself pulling the shorts downward every damn time.

 

“Suga, just stop pulling your shorts, it’s no use okay?” His sensei said, other slightly laughed at the teacher’s remark. Sugawara just sighed and did not respond. Soon, the game started and Sugawara was assigned to be the setter of Ushijima.

 

He bit his lower lip as stood beside Ushijima. The warm presence of the latter made him comfortable and nearly forgot that his shorts are short. Sensei whistled and they all shouted. “Let’s have a good game!”

 

They all went to their positions; their team will be the first one to serve. Sugawara took a peek of Ushijima at the back of the court; getting himself ready to serve a service ace. He stared at those thighs to die for and the visible abs from the thin cloth—“Oh fuck…” He muttered when Ushijima looked at him. The latter flashed a sly grin and Sugawara shook his head. Just one of the stolen moments of they had.

 

The serve of Ushijima was received by the opponent’s libero, their formation broke and his other classmate (teammate for now) received the spiked ball of the opponent. The ball went to Sugawara and he immediately tossed it to Ushijima who successfully managed to point a powerful spike.

 

Sugawara lifted his hands up, feeling happy. Ushijima responded to Sugawara’s high-five. They both flashed a cheerful smile at each other as their hearts fluttered.

 

“Your short is distracting me.” Ushijima whispered before they went to their position. Sugawara chuckled. “Just stare at it while you still can.”

 

Stolen moments, was it enough Sugawara?

 

* * *

 

 

[ a n o t h e r f l a s h b a c k ]

 

 

Sugawara slowly fluttered his eyes open; he sat up and roamed his eyes to their room, still feeling a little sore down there, he stood up and left the room. He slowly marched his way to the kitchen where he smell the lovely aroma of a food he had no idea. And even though he had already seen the interior of the house thousand times already, he still couldn’t stop himself from getting flabbergasted every damn time. It’s just too much; he never expected something like this.

 

This was their home, Ushijima’s gift to their 7th anniversary. A home perfect for the two of them. Every corner, every part—everything from this home is the evidence of Ushijima and Sugawara’s love. From the petite figurine to the expansive painting decorated inside—all of them witnessed their unrequited love.

 

Sugawara saw Ushijima at the kitchen table, chopping something. He marched his way to the latter, hugging him from behind. “Good morning…” He whispered.

He felt Ushijima stopped from what he was doing, and gave him a peck in cheeks. “Good morning. How was your sleep?”

“I don’t know, it was good I guess?” He said unsure as he slowly sat at one of the chairs, careful of not hurting his bottom part of the body. When he successfully assembled, he spanked Ushijima lightly. “I hate you…” He muttered.

Ushijima chuckled. “What?”

“You did it rough last night, I can’t walk properly now!” Sugawara said and peeled one of the banana’s placed on the table.

 

He ate the fruit in peace, waiting for Ushijima’s respond.

 

“Oh, but I thought you love rough se—“ He cut him off.

He shouted, feeling embarrassed. “—Shut up!”  

“What?” Ushijima asked.

 

Sugawara ignored Ushijima. He was still not used to these kind of situation—heck maybe he will never get used to it. It was like Ushijima was out of character.

 

“Change topic!” He said. “What’s for breakfast?” He asked.

“You’ll get a kiss from me when you guess it right…” Ushijima answered.

“Not fair!” Sugawara grumbled.

 

Sugawara’s heart fluttered. Everything felt like a dream—well, everytime he’s with Ushijima he always felt like it’s a dream. Ushijima Wakatoshi was someone superior and having the man beside him was—like a dream.

 

Nothing even mattered anymore, the little moments they had was more than enough for Sugawara to forget the world. The leaked pictures of the two of them spread like wildfire, and it’s just been two days since.

 

Two days since Ushijima’s mom talked to him.

Two days since Sugawara’s life turned into a total chaos.

Two days since but their love still stood.

 

He just couldn’t ask the Almighty; why.

 

Why? If they were worlds apart then why’d you let the two of them meet? Why did you let them fall in love when it’ll cause a total chaos? Why?

 

How about Aone Takanobu and Futakuchi Kenji? Why did the people approve their relationship? Was it because Futakuchi came from a wealthy family? Aone was a famous basketball player? Is the status important for the people to accept?

 

If Sugawara Koushi came from a family like them, will they accept him for the great Ushijima Wakatoshi?

 

Why do the people’s remark matter anyway? Why do people care in the first place? It’s not your relationship; it’s not you who fell in love. Why can’t we just accept?

 

The world is harsh and cruel. Sugawara can’t do anything about it.

 

* * *

 

 

[ p r e s e n t ]

 

Sugawara immediately left the train as soon as he reached his stop. The wind breeze blow his grey locks, he puffed his breathing, letting out a small smoke. Winter’s coming, Sugawara forgot to wear sweaters. He silently walked his route to his small apartment, just a few blocks away.

 

He took his phone from his pocket and read the time; 10:37 pm. Let out a sigh, and hid the phone, Sugawara continued walking. He busied himself staring at the moon while walking so that the scary thoughts will brush away. When the world fall apart, the sun and the moon will stay, serving as the proof that humanity will stay--well it doesn't made sense but Sugawara kept on thinking of stupid things just to make himself calm.

 

He was never a fan of horror, mystery, thrill, dark, ghosts, or whatever people called them. Sugawara Koushi was all rainbows, cupcakes and unicorns. So having him walk this dark route on the way home gave him chills. And plus the fact that his heartbeat can't stop running like a mad man; he looked at his back and saw nothing--well in the first place he can't feel anything nor someone following him--it's just that--why is he nervous? 

 

Something happened, he was sure of it. It's his instincts talking. 

 

He fasten his paced and reached his small apartment a few seconds later. Sugawara Koushi froze at his position when he saw the familiar physique. He hurriedly ran to his home and saw his instincts were right. Because here, at his small apartment, Ushijima Wakatoshi was waiting. 

 

Sugawara stared at those olive orbs he missed so much. No words can explain what he felt right now. 

 

"W-What are you doing here?" He asked.

The man gave him a small paper bag. "Happy anniversary, Koushi..."

 

And Sugawara's world lit up again.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bOI HALP. I AM CONFUSED. WHAT IS DAICHI'S FIRST NAME? HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Author's Note:**

> Slow updates!
> 
> I am focusing on my first story!


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